Thank You for Flying Orwell Airlines

Just when you think it is safe to board an airplane…

Apparently, to ensure terrorist-free flights at home and abroad, the glorious Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has decided that they must become terrorists themselves.

One of their senior officials thinks it would be a righteous idea to slap an electronic tracking bracelet on every passenger. One that will shock the crap out of you if you "get out of line".

Feature List:

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass
• Contain personal information about the traveler
• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage
• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

We all know that airport security is not known for their ability to judge what a real threat is… and the Feds want to give them a handy-dandy shock button to hit when they "feel threatened"?

I’m sure the Bondage and S&M types will be signing up in droves.

Thank you Sir, may I have Another?!?