God Sends Lion to Protect Baptist Church after Ike

Looters will be Eaten!

God sent a wayward lion from an exotic pet store in Texas to protect a Baptist Church from looters after Hurricane Ike devastated the community.

Lion, Tiger Spotted Among Wreckage After Ike

Iris-scan systems to secure Arab states’ borders

Wow.  This really makes me want to convert to Islam.

What We Call the News

You know, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

Thank You for Flying Orwell Airlines

Just when you think it is safe to board an airplane…

Apparently, to ensure terrorist-free flights at home and abroad, the glorious Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has decided that they must become terrorists themselves.

One of their senior officials thinks it would be a righteous idea to slap an electronic tracking bracelet on every passenger. One that will shock the crap out of you if you "get out of line".

Feature List:

• Take the place of an airline boarding pass
• Contain personal information about the traveler
• Be able to monitor the whereabouts of each passenger and his/her luggage
• Shock the wearer on command, completely immobilizing him/her for several minutes

We all know that airport security is not known for their ability to judge what a real threat is… and the Feds want to give them a handy-dandy shock button to hit when they "feel threatened"?

I’m sure the Bondage and S&M types will be signing up in droves.

Thank you Sir, may I have Another?!?

Happy Independence Day!

No, it’s not called “The Fourth of July”… I hope that America finds its way back to where it once belonged.

It you need a bit of a reminder:

Now, don’t blow yourself up today. Terrorists notwithstanding.